Episode 8: Where She Stands

Courage comes by all sorts of pathways and plans.  For Emma, the only way out of the crippling fear and anxiety was to turn and face it.  Claim it.  Speak with trembling voice and wobbly ankles, “This is where I stand.” 

And so, Victoria.  

We searched through the online [and free!] database at Psychology Today, and we found her.  First try. 

So Emma & I began an unofficial, yet regular conversation.

“How was counseling?” I’d ask.  I know better than to ask what they talked about. I know plenty of parents who want to know every last thing about their child’s life.  I am not one of them.  I figure, if she wants to tell me, then she will. I have lived enough life to know:  ignorance really can be bliss.  I’m good with a little bliss in my life.

As I indicated before, though, Emma is not satisfied with shallow answers and grunted replies.  So, I heard it all.  The anxiety. The fear. The dread. The exhaustion.  It was like someone pulled a string in her back, and she let it fly.

“So, do you like talking to Victoria?” 

Her eyes would light up, and she could barely contain her energy:  “I can’t wait until next week.”

And so, Victoria. 

Their weekly meetings quilted into months and then into seasons.  Until, finally, Emma came home with a book that she made herself.  Construction paper.  Her story, written in her own hand, and the way through. 

Victoria the guide.

Sometimes, a guide will hand you a map and point you in the right direction.  It’s a straightforward, clear, helpful way to go. But only if the path is clear.

Other guides, though, are there to assist you as you mark your own path, as you discover the way through.  Emma learned an incredibly important lesson:  plain old experience rarely leads to healing.  She’d experienced all kinds of uncomfortable and debilitating things.  Didn’t matter—she couldn’t find her way out of that.

Victoria taught her about how to assess those experiences.  Not just to talk it out, but to write it down.  Draw the map that can take you through—as you walk the path—to remember the words and encouragement of the guide.