Episode 5: A Few Good Men
Flashback: FALL 1998
Sunday & I began college on the same day, and by all accounts Sunday Beckman was scared to death. The way she tells it, when she saw her dad drive away, she couldn’t believe they were doing this to her. The greatest source of stability in Sunday’s life abandoned her to her own resources.
Turns out, Sunday had plenty of resources.
Five years later, we started dating. We both were ready for something serious, and we weren’t in the mood for a long term, drawn out, something or other. She made it clear, though. Before we went any further, I’d need to meet ‘her guys.’
When she said it at first, I didn’t know really what she meant. Neither one of us is what I would consider the jealous type, but I was confused: she has guys?
In her case, there were three men whom she trusted to meet me so they could give her their honest opinion.
And for someone who grew up in a very sheltered environment (her words, not mine) Sunday certainly gravitated to men who didn’t just shield her from the world—they prepared her for it.
Her dad was the first. There are men in the world who are safe because they are so capable at so many things. Dick Beckman is that man—focused, hardworking, reasonable, and ready to choke back a quiver lip whenever Sunday came back from college. Built a company through hard work and maintaining business relationships--over 40 years later, it’s still growing and developing.
Milt, her grandfather, was next. Until his death, Milt was a Marine. Wounded in the Pacific theater during World War II. A man who welcomed me into his family and into his home with a hug and a “Hi, pal” every time. Without brandishing any kind of militaristic bravado, Milt’s home was a safe place. He didn’t have to beat his chest or growl or anything like that. He didn’t have to tell you—he lived the life of a gentle protector.
Her brother might just be the most ‘safety-conscious’ person I have ever met. He looks out for danger, and he wants to offer safety and protection. It’s no wonder that Sunday looked to her big brother to help her navigate the wide world that, in her eyes, was a dangerous place.
These guys—her guys—are very different individuals, but they all had one thing in common: they wanted the very best life for Sunday, even if they weren’t directly responsible for making it happen. If she achieved something, made something happen, became more mature, whatever it was. They didn’t need the credit—they were never intimidated by the woman she would become.
By the time we’d started dating, Sunday had formed within herself a steely focus on health and growth and living a life where she could surround herself with people who loved her and cared for her. Sure, the world is a tough place, but these guys—her guys—didn’t merely protect her from it. They prepared her for it.
Without an ‘ok’ from each of them, I didn’t have a chance.