Episode 5: Rule #1 -- DFO
“Dad, do you know what cat calling is?”
Suddenly, like so many times before, one question from Emma changed the direction of my survival. Sunday and I have a ‘Don’t Freak Out’ rule when it comes to our children’s questions. They can ask anything, and they won’t get punished for it. It’s not their fault that they don’t know something—and it’s not their fault that their ignorance freaks me out.
D-F-O: that’s what’s gotten us through everything from potty training to menstruation and beyond. Deep breath. Keep blinking. DFO.
So…cat calling.
“Are you wanting lessons?”
Emma rolled her eyes. “No, but there’s this boy at school.”
“I’ve heard rumors about such things,” I replied. I like to be heavily sarcastic when she’s asking a serious question. She fights for the knowledge. It’s a deal we have. She gets what she wants.
“He says I’m fine.
He says he likes how I dress.
He says all kinds of things.
He’s crazy.”
“How do you feel about that?” Sunday asked. She appears out of nowhere to perform the role of a capable adult. Leave it to Sunday to ask the question I would have never thought to ask.
“Oh, I’m ok with it. I think I look nice, too.” [Here is where Sunday must not freak out. This boy is saying all kinds of lewd things, and Emma…well, Emma responds with “Well, you’re not wrong.”]
“Just ok?”
“Oh, he’s weird.”
At this point in the discussion, I began searching around for the phone number of the principal’s office. Being in ninth grade is difficult enough without some loudmouth bully providing his half-baked insights on Emma’s body or her clothes.
I was, in fact, looking for a reason to freak out. In public.
Just about the time I thought I was going to have to take the nuclear option (that’s where I call the school, by the way), Jonah walked in the room.
“What’s his name?”
Good Lord, the tone in that boy’s voice. It was like the question alone dropped the temperature by about ten degrees.
“Now, Jonah,” Sunday began.
I interrupted her. “There’s nothing wrong with a conversation, son. Nothing wrong with that at all.”
He nodded. We understood one another. At least, I thought we understood one another.
